So, I write things. Daily, pretty much. For years now. And whenever I consult with the universe, the things ask to be shared. But daily, my gremlins battle me to sit down and be quiet, and keep my writing to myself.
It's an indescribable battle, the lifelong Fear of Not Good Enough, (show of hands, anyone?) that tries to keep me from doing every single risky thing that calls to my soul. And the thought that this could be happening to other people in the world evokes an almost literal cracking and breaking of my heart.
Over the past eight years of busting through my fear of not good enough, as I toil, stumble, and get back up again, endless phenomenal circumstances have taken place. I know what it means to "find" oneself, I have a virtual black belt in overcoming, and I live every single day in love. However, my gremlins haven't disappeared, and every time I start to play bigger, I can count on them to rear their heads and take swings at me.
Here's the thing, though: We CANNOT allow the gremlins to be in charge, because shrinking is NOT why we're here. You have within you the capacity to live in your fullest, flowing boldness and to make an impact. And your light -- all the quirky bits of it -- is meant to be shared.
I believe in an uplifted world, and in the magic of life. I am here to contribute to it, and I believe you are too. You wouldn't be reading this if you weren't.
They say we teach what we needed to learn. And that is why I am finally sharing my writing with you. Because I can't have other people spending decades in fear-of-not-good-enough. Marianne Williamson's quote rings true for all of us: "Your playing small does not serve the world."
Now, I know this isn't a once-and-for-all end to the battle. Otherwise we would have done it already (duh.) This is about us carving out new patterns, and taking little steps, day after day, in service of our unfolding, and our Truth. No colossal event or rescuer is going to come and banish the fear of not good enough forever. We MUST learn to rescue ourselves.
And so, on this seemingly insignificant day, here goes some actual stepping out, and publishing a post :). Because I want YOU to take a step in service of unfolding today too.
On a walk in the rain this week, I snapped the photo up top of a rose blossoming. Its image has stuck with me for several days, as I believe nature often holds up a mirror of discovery for us. I spent a little time in meditation this morning, picturing this glorious unfolding rose, and the universe gave me this message to share. I hope it's a gift for you as well:
“It doesn’t have to be such a struggle to be and give of yourself.
The bud does not wait to see what other people think.
It opens, in its full, natural mystery.
What are you actually doing in shrinking,
in creating misery instead of opportunity?
Do you think everyone else had a step-by-step guide
to become what was inside of them?
You can only give the rose all of the best conditions, treatment and care it needs to Be.
Sun, water, soil, air, bees to pollinate —
Yes, it does take more than just one.
Keep pollinating for others, please.
Their growth does not shade you out.
There’s a need for what you have.
It’s why you’re here.
Create the best possible conditions you can, day by day, and Be.
Please, let go, and Be.
Showing your beauty, unfolding, doesn’t have to be so scary.
Those who would judge your being, e.g.,
“f*ck those damn roses,” are only hurling pain.
We can send love.
Those with any ability to see will be uplifted,
will behold beauty, and smile.
You will remind them to see their unending miraculousness
and mystery within.
Your unfolding will only create